The good news:

• I don’t have to see my endocrinologist for a year
• until now I had to see him multiple times a year

The bad news:

• He’s gotten worse
• All he cares about is whether or not I’ve lost weight and if I can get pregnant
• He was in such a rush that he spent under two minutes with me
• He didn’t even ask how I was doing or address my joint pain
• I mean, I had to use a cane for awhile this past semester because of my pain and all he could say was, “you gained nine pounds” and rush through an exam and was out the door before I could even say I’ve had pain

So the plan is:

1. Make sure all my medication is at appropriate dosages and that my blood work comes back as good as expected so I can get the appropriate prescriptions.
2. Spend the next year finding a new endocrinologist who actually gives a shit about me.

thethyroidbutterfly:

It is annoying that people do not take thyroid disease seriously. 

I was recently talking to an aunt about concerns with it, and she looked at me like I was ridiculous and just said, “It’s common, you’ll be fine”.

I think this partly had to do with her thinking she has it worse because she has Lupus, so she thinks it’s okay to talk to me like that, I am not sure.

I do not know, I just do not like when people don’t consider it a real struggle, because it is.

It’s true.  I love the “you’ll be fine” line.  Like what part of incurable disease do you not understand?!  Yes, some other people have it worse, but I feel pretty awful to the point where it hurts to sleep and breathe and by the way I turned blue this morning because my metabolism is so messed up that I can’t maintain a proper body temperature.  I’m more likely to get cancer and other health problems and my joints are in constant pain, but because my limbs aren’t falling off it can’t be too bad.

A text post about weight

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Some people get excited to buy new clothes for the first day of school

I’m excited to pick fabrics to make myself new wraps and shoulder blankets.  I never really know when I’m going to go from feeling good to getting very cold and shaky.  Now all I need to do is pick out the fabrics I like.  Should I do the same pattern on each side or two different patterns?  Should I use some bright colors and patterns or keep it simple?  I guess I’ll just have to make a couple different ones.  It’s going to be fabulous.

I was recently told that taking thyroid medication with food is okay.

thethyroidbutterfly:

Someone who has been on thyroid medication for years takes it with food and does not have any problems.

I do not see how this works.

I mean, I used to eat food a half hour after taking the pill on an empty stomach and the food would interfere with the effectiveness.

Does anyone else take their thyroid medication with food without complications? 

I take mine on an empty stomach and wait at least thirty minutes to eat.  It takes weeks, months even, for the medication to build in your system enough to make a difference.  I guess they assume after you’ve been on it long enough, you have enough in your system that if you eat with it, the effectiveness won’t really change.  I’ve been on my medication for over three years and still take it on an empty stomach.

Went to the hospital for our regularly scheduled programming

Every six months I end up at that place to see my endocrinologist.  It used to be more often but in the last year I’ve only had to go twice.  Hooray?  My trip today was just too comical.  I think I’m probably the only one who saw it that way. 

This doctor that I see (he’s  not really Captain Personality but he knows most of his stuff) got a new nurse who was trying to be nice but was trying too hard.  You know the kind of people who are trying to be sweet by getting to know you but they take up so much time you just want to tell them to get on with it so you can get the hell out of there?  Yeah.  She used the phrase, “since I last saw you”, umm, we’ve never met.  I realize that there are a lot of patients that come through here but just look at the paperwork and see when I was here last.  You weren’t around.  Also notice that I have no idea what room to go to because you guys rearranged the entire office and that’s also a sign that I haven’t been here since your arrival.  And hey, to you guys who decided what goes where, thanks for putting the scale in middle of the main hallway so everyone can see it as they walk by.  That’s great.  Amazingly, at this point, my blood pressure was just 116 over 68 at that point and my pulse was 62.

So then my doctor shows up and looks at me and says it looks like I’ve lost some weight.  Genius.  Really.  And no thanks to you, asshole.  Just read the paperwork.  Then he actually does read the paperwork and it takes him more than thirty seconds to do a little subtraction and figure out how much I’ve lost in the past year.  Just leave that to me.  The part that really gets me is that he doesn’t know why I’m not pregnant.  We don’t use birth control but I’m not pregnant.  Now, I wouldn’t mind having a baby, but we’re not actively trying.  We’re not actively preventing either.  He seems to think that you’re either preventing pregnancy or you’re trying with everything you’ve got to get pregnant.  I suppose in this day and age most people are one or the other but we’re not.  He just can’t understand that.  He doesn’t get it.  Last time I saw him I weighed thirty-three pounds more than I do now and even then he was surprised I wasn’t pregnant.  Like just losing weight would solve everything?  Let’s see, I have Hashimoto’s Disease, PCOS and hypothyroidism.  Those things aren’t just fixed with weight loss.  They don’t just magically seep out your pores and blow away in the wind once you lose all the fat that’s blocking their escape from your body.  I think he’s more worried about the fact that I’m not pregnant than I am.  He was talking about all kinds of tests we could do and drugs I could take to try to get pregnant.  Again, he doesn’t get it.  When and if it happens, is when it’ll happen.  I’ve spent years of my life trying to deal with the fact that I might not have biological children.  Hubby and I have talked about it for a long time too.  Given that I’m healthier, at a better weight, don’t have a full time job and we have no children, it’s the best time for me to go back to school so that’s what I’m doing.  If I have to take a break from school because I have a baby, fine.  I can do that.  I have seven years to get my masters and another seven to get my doctorate.  It’s not like people don’t take breaks in between when necessary.  But really, the way things are looking now, I don’t know that I’ll ever have kids, so I might as well go full-throttle through school while I have the ability.  The other thing was that the doctor kept saying we could do the tests today but he was going on vacation for ten days and I wouldn’t get the results back from him right away.  He kept stressing that I wouldn’t get the results back and almost looked like he wasn’t sure what to do.  I almost wanted to go into condescending mode, pat his arm and say, “It’s going to be okay.  You’ll make it through this.  You’re strong.”  Do you really need me to turn the tables, talk to a doctor like they talk to their patients and remind you that it really will be okay if I don’t get the results back for two weeks because it’s not seriously life threatening at this point?  Seriously.  Get a hold of yourself.  If it was life-threatening then I would be checked into the hospital and you’d find another doctor to do follow-up while you’re gone.

The nice thing about the new office is that I don’t have to walk to the other side of the hospital and get checked in as an outpatient to get my blood work done.  That was the worst part of it for me.  Now they have a nurse who just does all the tests for the endocrinology patients.  It was nice to just be a line of one and not have to go through two other processing lines surrounded by people asking if I had brought a grandparent in to get tests done (because apparently young people never get incurable diseases).  The only part that left me wondering was the receptionist who took me to see the nurse and said, “Now Nicole is going to take care of you.  She’s a friend of mine”.  Is that supposed to make me feel better?  I only just met you, don’t even know your name and now your friend is going to jab my arm with a needle.  What is the basis for this relationship?  I’m just supposed to trust her because I supposedly trust you because you smiled at me and claimed to have a friend?  Again, I don’t know you.  What if you have terrible taste in friends?  How does friendship prove needle-stabbing accuracy?  I want to know.  They didn’t have a bed for me to lie down on but Nicole did an okay job.  She had to wiggle the needle around a bit but I survived.  I just didn’t want to pass out.

I just have to laugh with the way so many of these medical professionals talk to patients. They’re worried about the wrong things or they say things that just don’t need saying.  You don’t have to remind me when you weigh me that most people hate this part and you’re getting it over with first.  Wrong.  You’re doing it first because someone decided to place the scale in the hall on the way to the office and you have to base some of your exam on what I weigh.  Talking about how everyone hates their weight is just annoying so shut up and weigh me and we could have been done three minutes ago if you had stopped talking.  Also, the whole, oh we’re friends here thing is just a bit much.  Do. Your. Job.  If your job is to take my blood, just do it.  If your job is to make my next appointment, just do it.  I don’t need a recommendation from someone I just met for someone I’m about to meet.  Everyone just do your job and do it right so I can get out of here!  So much time was wasted in that office today.  At least now I’m home and can get on to more important things.

I tried something new

I tried eating more calories according to the MFP recommendations.  LOL HAHA JK didn’t work.  We all know why.  Say it with me.  Thyroid.  Seems like I need to go back to my old caloric range.

This week my joints feel good enough to bike again and I did this morning.  Last week I really needed to give them a break and I started a little slow today.  I don’t want to intentionally hurt myself over this but am about to go for a little walk to the grocery store and I’m back in the pool tonight.

Also, I had been told that iodine is bad for your thyroid.  I know that radioactive iodine is used for people with Grave’s Disease and can be terrible for you if you have hypothyroid problems like me.  But what about regular iodine?  It’s supposed to be key in maintaining a healthy weight.  Anyone out there know more about this?  I’ve heard both sides, yes you should have iodine and no you shouldn’t because it could make things worse, and it just sounds like a crapshoot.  I’ve been on the side of caution, I guess you could say, and have avoided iodine for the most part (I use non-iodinized salt, for example).  Now I’m starting to wonder if I actually should be paying more attention to it.

Today I saw a friend that I haven’t seen in about a month

The past month or so has been super slow for weight loss.  I keep thinking I can notice my muscles showing through, but the scale isn’t saying I’ve lost weight.  My friend noticed right away that I had changed shape so much in a month and that felt good.  I would much rather show that I’m getting healthy than carry around a number.  I met someone new through my friend and she said that a lot of people stay the same weight for a year or so and then lose the rest.  I don’t know who “a lot of people” is though.  I’m 6.4 pounds away from no longer being in the obese category and I’m really stoked for that.  I know that BMI is just one measure but this would mean a lot to me as I’ve been obese since high school.  I’ve got a ways to go but I’m feeling great.  I’ve also figured out the farthest distance I can walk without hurting my joints to the point of crying.  That might sound ridiculous but I still have a lot of thyroid-related joint problems.  Some days are good and some days are downright awful.

This has been a post.

Dear Hashimoto’s Disease,

If you could stop it with the joint pain I would really appreciate that.  It’s been three weeks since you kicked it up a notch and I’m so tired of you.  You are wearing me out and destroying my sanity.  At least stop laughing at me when I take painkillers.  You know I don’t want to go on prescription ones.  I’m trying to take care of my body but you are tearing it down.  Can’t we all just get along?  Don’t you realize that if you eventually kill me that it will also be the end of you? Or is that what will make you happy?

With the Utmost Sincerity,

Rachel Elizabeth