This morning Nate and I went to see a new doctor to find out if anything else could be done for my thyroid issues.
I had the extremes of people today. I know I made a quick post about this first part, but I’m still not over it… After suffering through analysis class, I went to the office hours of one of my other professors. I didn’t need help on anything, but just wanted to sit in his more comfortable chair since sitting anywhere else was horrible. I didn’t think he’d mind since it’s the chair he lets students sit in when they visit. He basically insisted that I take his chair and use it in my office since my chronic pain isn’t as bad when I sit in it.
Not two hours later, the guy who cleans our offices asked me why I carry around pillow pets and if I carried them for good luck. I said I sit on them for my chronic joint pain related to my autoimmune disease. He said he had to have surgery a few years ago and the pain only went away when he started praying. The implication of comments like this is that if I did something else, I wouldn’t be hurting. It’s like I’m doing this to myself. The other implication is that I must not be praying hard enough or must not believe in God. Ugh. I just smiled and waited for him to stop talking and hobbled away.
I don’t have time to engage people like that in conversation.
Regardless, I was so touched by my professor’s generosity that nothing could bring me down. Some people are awesome and they don’t only live on the internet.
Goals for Today and Tomorrow:
- Finish grading exams
- Analysis homework
- Work on Paper
- Masters Exam stuff
- Try not to be too hard on myself
For those of you following along, I got an appointment the Friday after next with a new doctor. I’m hoping it goes well, but I know I’m in for a long haul as treating what I have is a life-long process and finding the right cocktail of drugs can me more art than science. I really need this, though. I’m hoping to say so long to synthroid soon and hopefully even the metformin since I’m certain it’s not doing anything for me.
I think it’s funny that my doctor sent me my lab results in a timely manner instead of just keeping them to himself. He just sent me written proof of his inadequacy and totally ignored my request to run certain tests. Oh dude, you’re so fired.
Sorry followers. I’m going to be searching for a new doctor and this may take several months because good specialists are hard to find. I’ll be tagging them all with “hunting” if you care to blacklist.
She crouches quietly behind a laptop screen searching. She watches as one after another shows up and she refuses to approach them. She sees their bad reviews and tearfully painful patient comments. She can’t waste her time on those who will only insult her. She’s looking for a worthwhile one among the herd of morons. She’s doctor hunting.
The good news:
- I don’t have to see my endocrinologist for a year
- until now I had to see him multiple times a year
The bad news:
- He’s gotten worse
- All he cares about is whether or not I’ve lost weight and if I can get pregnant
- He was in such a rush that he spent under two minutes with me
- He didn’t even ask how I was doing or address my joint pain
- I mean, I had to use a cane for awhile this past semester because of my pain and all he could say was, “you gained nine pounds” and rush through an exam and was out the door before I could even say I’ve had pain
So the plan is:
- Make sure all my medication is at appropriate dosages and that my blood work comes back as good as expected so I can get the appropriate prescriptions.
- Spend the next year finding a new endocrinologist who actually gives a shit about me.
It is annoying that people do not take thyroid disease seriously.
I was recently talking to an aunt about concerns with it, and she looked at me like I was ridiculous and just said, “It’s common, you’ll be fine”.
I think this partly had to do with her thinking she has it worse because she has Lupus, so she thinks it’s okay to talk to me like that, I am not sure.
I do not know, I just do not like when people don’t consider it a real struggle, because it is.
It’s true. I love the “you’ll be fine” line. Like what part of incurable disease do you not understand?! Yes, some other people have it worse, but I feel pretty awful to the point where it hurts to sleep and breathe and by the way I turned blue this morning because my metabolism is so messed up that I can’t maintain a proper body temperature. I’m more likely to get cancer and other health problems and my joints are in constant pain, but because my limbs aren’t falling off it can’t be too bad.
Weight Loss Post
Basically, I’ve been at the same stupid plateau for a few months now. I am starting to get over it and heading back in the right direction. I am not giving up because I am so sick of this stupid disease trying to get in the way. I know it’s going to give me trouble, that’s what it’s been doing lately, but I deserve to be as healthy as I can be.