Went to the hospital for our regularly scheduled programming
Every six months I end up at that place to see my endocrinologist. It used to be more often but in the last year I’ve only had to go twice. Hooray? My trip today was just too comical. I think I’m probably the only one who saw it that way.
This doctor that I see (he’s not really Captain Personality but he knows most of his stuff) got a new nurse who was trying to be nice but was trying too hard. You know the kind of people who are trying to be sweet by getting to know you but they take up so much time you just want to tell them to get on with it so you can get the hell out of there? Yeah. She used the phrase, “since I last saw you”, umm, we’ve never met. I realize that there are a lot of patients that come through here but just look at the paperwork and see when I was here last. You weren’t around. Also notice that I have no idea what room to go to because you guys rearranged the entire office and that’s also a sign that I haven’t been here since your arrival. And hey, to you guys who decided what goes where, thanks for putting the scale in middle of the main hallway so everyone can see it as they walk by. That’s great. Amazingly, at this point, my blood pressure was just 116 over 68 at that point and my pulse was 62.
So then my doctor shows up and looks at me and says it looks like I’ve lost some weight. Genius. Really. And no thanks to you, asshole. Just read the paperwork. Then he actually does read the paperwork and it takes him more than thirty seconds to do a little subtraction and figure out how much I’ve lost in the past year. Just leave that to me. The part that really gets me is that he doesn’t know why I’m not pregnant. We don’t use birth control but I’m not pregnant. Now, I wouldn’t mind having a baby, but we’re not actively trying. We’re not actively preventing either. He seems to think that you’re either preventing pregnancy or you’re trying with everything you’ve got to get pregnant. I suppose in this day and age most people are one or the other but we’re not. He just can’t understand that. He doesn’t get it. Last time I saw him I weighed thirty-three pounds more than I do now and even then he was surprised I wasn’t pregnant. Like just losing weight would solve everything? Let’s see, I have Hashimoto’s Disease, PCOS and hypothyroidism. Those things aren’t just fixed with weight loss. They don’t just magically seep out your pores and blow away in the wind once you lose all the fat that’s blocking their escape from your body. I think he’s more worried about the fact that I’m not pregnant than I am. He was talking about all kinds of tests we could do and drugs I could take to try to get pregnant. Again, he doesn’t get it. When and if it happens, is when it’ll happen. I’ve spent years of my life trying to deal with the fact that I might not have biological children. Hubby and I have talked about it for a long time too. Given that I’m healthier, at a better weight, don’t have a full time job and we have no children, it’s the best time for me to go back to school so that’s what I’m doing. If I have to take a break from school because I have a baby, fine. I can do that. I have seven years to get my masters and another seven to get my doctorate. It’s not like people don’t take breaks in between when necessary. But really, the way things are looking now, I don’t know that I’ll ever have kids, so I might as well go full-throttle through school while I have the ability. The other thing was that the doctor kept saying we could do the tests today but he was going on vacation for ten days and I wouldn’t get the results back from him right away. He kept stressing that I wouldn’t get the results back and almost looked like he wasn’t sure what to do. I almost wanted to go into condescending mode, pat his arm and say, “It’s going to be okay. You’ll make it through this. You’re strong.” Do you really need me to turn the tables, talk to a doctor like they talk to their patients and remind you that it really will be okay if I don’t get the results back for two weeks because it’s not seriously life threatening at this point? Seriously. Get a hold of yourself. If it was life-threatening then I would be checked into the hospital and you’d find another doctor to do follow-up while you’re gone.
The nice thing about the new office is that I don’t have to walk to the other side of the hospital and get checked in as an outpatient to get my blood work done. That was the worst part of it for me. Now they have a nurse who just does all the tests for the endocrinology patients. It was nice to just be a line of one and not have to go through two other processing lines surrounded by people asking if I had brought a grandparent in to get tests done (because apparently young people never get incurable diseases). The only part that left me wondering was the receptionist who took me to see the nurse and said, “Now Nicole is going to take care of you. She’s a friend of mine”. Is that supposed to make me feel better? I only just met you, don’t even know your name and now your friend is going to jab my arm with a needle. What is the basis for this relationship? I’m just supposed to trust her because I supposedly trust you because you smiled at me and claimed to have a friend? Again, I don’t know you. What if you have terrible taste in friends? How does friendship prove needle-stabbing accuracy? I want to know. They didn’t have a bed for me to lie down on but Nicole did an okay job. She had to wiggle the needle around a bit but I survived. I just didn’t want to pass out.
I just have to laugh with the way so many of these medical professionals talk to patients. They’re worried about the wrong things or they say things that just don’t need saying. You don’t have to remind me when you weigh me that most people hate this part and you’re getting it over with first. Wrong. You’re doing it first because someone decided to place the scale in the hall on the way to the office and you have to base some of your exam on what I weigh. Talking about how everyone hates their weight is just annoying so shut up and weigh me and we could have been done three minutes ago if you had stopped talking. Also, the whole, oh we’re friends here thing is just a bit much. Do. Your. Job. If your job is to take my blood, just do it. If your job is to make my next appointment, just do it. I don’t need a recommendation from someone I just met for someone I’m about to meet. Everyone just do your job and do it right so I can get out of here! So much time was wasted in that office today. At least now I’m home and can get on to more important things.